An internet dating survey: where are all the stylish older men? Part 2

In a previous post, Where are all the stylish older men? I revealed that women over 40 feel that many men they meet while internet dating make little effort over their appearance and style.

Fascinated by such complaints, Grey Fox contributor, Sarah Gilfillan, carried out a survey to find out more so that we could advise the older man how to prepare for an internet date.

Image Ste Johnson

This is Sarah's report on the information she gathered -

I sent out a short survey to find out how women liked to see guys over 40 dressed and I thought it would be interesting to share the results with Grey Fox readers. 

In general terms, when asked how they liked their man to dress, women want to see a man looking smart, groomed, and wearing good quality, well-fitting clothing. There seemed to be a slight leaning towards soft tactile fabrics - like cashmere sweaters, velvet jackets and soft brushed cotton shirts - all the better to cuddle up to! 

It was pretty clear what they didn't like on their guys over 40: baggy jeans, bright logo tees, trainers, and poorly-fitting clothes. Men tend to wear over-large garments, which looks sloppy. There were a few comments about mismatched items - either in terms of colour/pattern/fabric or the styles ie: walking trousers and a smart shirt.

No one thought guys over 40 should stop wearing jeans, as long as they're dark, smart, fit well and are not too faded, ripped, skinny, or showing pants! Worn with a smart, plain t-shirt, polo shirt or casual shirt and perhaps a v-neck or half zip sweater, most felt that jeans are good weekend staples.

Many favoured boots for casual wear as an alternative to trainers - desert boots, Chelsea boots, Redwing boots all came up as ones they liked. The other favourite was the ever popular pair of brogues.

For a smarter look - going out for dinner - nearly all said smart jeans again, or trousers/cords and a shirt, possibly with a smart jacket and worn again with brogues or smart shoes. Interestingly, only one person said a suit. 

Nearly all of the women asked said that grooming was very important, but not overly groomed TOWIE style (which they found a complete turn off)! Most preferred clean-shaven, but some were happy with a beard as long as it was not too long or scruffy. All said regular haircuts were a must - even if there's not much left, it needs to be neat round the edges. Other aspects mentioned were tidying up nose and ear hair, and clean short nails - fingers and toes!! 

Image Ste Johnson

There were mixed views on aftershave - one said "lots so it wafts" and some said it wasn't important. It generally seemed that the ladies did like some sort of scent (I guess to denote that you're fresh and clean) but not to go overboard. 

One of the other things that cropped up was the importance of accessories, helping to make an outfit look groomed and smart and also contributing to a more modern, youthful look when chosen carefully. Colourful socks, good quality belts, bags and wallets plus hats - either flat caps/baker boy style/trilby (maybe as a distraction from thinning hair?) were items mentioned. 

Some of the brands the guys bought and the ladies liked were Nudie, Eton, Tiger of Sweden, Armani, Ralph Lauren, Joseph, Redwing, CP Company and Levi's. 

The overall conclusion was that simple, smart, classy and well fitted clothes work. You don’t need to try to be too young or fun, just find your own style and make sure it fits well! Update your look with interesting, quality accessories to keep it fresh and modern.

Every woman, bar one, said that it made their man more attractive to them when they were better dressed. Good advice!

But if you are feeling intimidated by this or think it's shallow, you might be cheered by the couple of girls who said "he's a bit of a scruff, but I love him" and "I knew I was marrying a scruffy muppet so no problem!" I would still argue though that you should get ahead in the dating game by not being a "scruffy muppet" but dressing well and giving yourself an edge over all the other men.

So, gentlemen, whatever you may think, the women's perception is that older men entering the dating game aren't trying their best. As one woman remarked, "We make all the effort only to find that the man hasn't even tried to look presentable".

Next week, in the final part of this series, we'll summarise with advice for the older man preparing for a date.

NOTE: I'd like to thank Ste Johnson for his permission to use the images in this Internet Dating series. To see more of his wonderful work visit his website here.